Do you ever feel like people are constantly trying to approach you and get your attention?
You’re not imagining it. There is a psychological reason for this, called the “approach-avoidance conflict.”
The approach-avoidance conflict is a result of two things:
When someone has the desire to communicate with another person but also feels anxious about doing so, they will experience indecision as well. The more intense these feelings are, the greater the conflict becomes until one side wins out – either avoid or approach!
In a study, it was found that people who were more anxious about approaching others experienced the most conflict. These individuals often went to great lengths to avoid unwanted interactions with strangers and got frustrated when they did not have any other way of contacting someone.
They could be described as having an ‘approach fear response! Other studies found that people are less likely to approach if they feel like their social skills won’t match up or if they’re unsure what kind of reaction might come from them.
So, how can we overcome this? The key is in our mindset – changing the beliefs and thoughts behind these behaviours can help us move past the thought process where one side always wins out over the other so easily.”